


home (or the next best thing)

by shoutz



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Emotional Sex, F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Illusions, Mutual Pining, Patch 5.3: Reflections in Crystal Spoilers, Pining, Shapeshifting, Unnamed Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:41:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29666043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoutz/pseuds/shoutz
Summary: In the end, just as Elidibus strove to fulfill his duty, so too did she strive to fulfill her own as the Warrior of Light and Darkness. And with such opposing values and such stalwart hearts, no miracle could stop the inevitable from coming to pass.Leaving her victorious, and alone.But if she has learned anything from her time studying aether and its effects on the soul… If she can transport a soul from one world to another, surely to conjure even a mere phantom of a soul would…Her thoughts threaten to veer in every direction at once. To rein them in she thinks of seeing him again, of hearing his voice and feeling his touch, of not only remembering butunderstanding—— and finds herself just desperate enough to try.
Relationships: Elidibus/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	home (or the next best thing)

**Author's Note:**

> a fic written for a lovely anon!!! thank you for being sososo patient and understanding!

The Warrior of Light is not immune to loneliness.

This much makes itself painfully apparent in the wake of all that had transpired upon the First since the death of Hades. She lingers in this once-foreign world as the Scions begin their recovery upon the Source, spending her time wandering the lands that have become so familiar over the course of her time here. She loses herself to the uncharted mountain ranges of Il Mheg, treks the desert of Ahm Araeng in search of uncharted ruins, and wanders the remnants of Amaurot in search of…

Of home. Ever-elusive, ever out of reach, and this time is no different than any other. Try as she might, she does not find what she’s searching for in any of the places her wanderlust decides to take her upon the First. And thus, the eternal glow of the Crystal Tower shines through her window at the Pendants, a nostalgic sort of blue that tugs at her heart endlessly.

Her mind flashes back to comets covering the skies with orange fire, of glowing soldiers called forth to fight in another world’s war, of the final fight against Elidibus and all that came after. Her eyes find the uppermost spire of the tower and stick there, heart aching in time with the last words of Elidibus as they ring through her head.

_ The rains have ceased, and we have been graced with another beautiful day. _

_ But you are not here to see it. _

The knowledge had eluded her until that very moment — the connection between her and the Convocation, her relationship to the realm at large, with  _ him _ — but clarified in an instant.  _ Azem. _ The Fourteenth seat. The draw she felt towards him despite his animosity and antagonism, a soul-deep magnetism she could not explain if she tried…

In the end, just as Elidibus strove to fulfill his duty, so too did she strive to fulfill her own as the Warrior of Light and Darkness. And with such opposing values and such stalwart hearts, no miracle could stop the inevitable from coming to pass.

Leaving her victorious, and alone.

But if she has learned anything from her time studying aether and its effects on the soul… If she can transport a soul from one world to another, surely to conjure even a mere phantom of a soul would…

Her thoughts threaten to veer in every direction at once. To rein them in she thinks of seeing him again, of hearing his voice and feeling his touch, of not only remembering but  _ understanding _ —

— and finds herself just desperate enough to try.

About an hour later finds her buzzing with nervous energy as she situates the last few pieces of her machination, the centerpiece of which is a crystal procured in exchange for a hefty sum of gil and a favor or two. Most of her plan hinges on the blind luck characteristic of the Warrior of Light, she knows, and with that fact in mind she channels her memory of him — her  _ true _ memory — into the crystal.

Within moments her inn room is filled with the blinding brilliance of aether called forth beginning to take shape. She shields her eyes against the light, until she can finally look upon her creation, and—

_ “Elidibus?” _

Robed in his customary white stands the Emissary himself, hood bunched around his shoulders to reveal what he had never deigned to show her in life. Long white hair cascades past both shoulders, framing a young, handsome face she should not recognize unmasked.

But she  _ does. _ And her heart  _ sings. _

In but two strides across the room she crashes into him, arms cinched tight around him as if letting go would dispel the illusion of his presence. He raises his hands hesitant at first, surprised by her sudden outburst, but soon enough those hands settle around her shoulders as he presses his face into her hair.

“By Zodiark, I never thought I would see you again…” he murmurs breathlessly, voice clear and whole in a way she never thought she would hear again.

The Warrior of Light pulls back to admire her work, grinning from ear to ear. “It  _ worked! _ I thought— I was so nervous I would have to spend another night alone…”

A smile finally settles on Elidibus’ face. “I should have known this was your doing.” His hand lifts and brushes an errant bit of hair out of her face as he admires her. “I don’t know how long I can stay, but… For tonight, at least, we have each other.”

She raises just slightly onto her toes and smiles, just a breath away from his lips. “For tonight, at least.”

He succumbs to her and closes the gap with a kiss, searing with all the unspoken feelings between them. He crushes her to his chest and it ignites something within her, something even further bolstered by his physical,  _ tangible _ reactions to her. Elidibus eases the two of them backwards until he is able to sit on the edge of her bed, pulling her forward to climb onto his lap. She does so willingly, greedily, refusing to let their lips part for even a moment as they move. In this position she can more clearly feel him as she presses in a hard line against him, and it sends another wave of heat through her. Compounded with the nervous excitement, and the arousal of finally being  _ touched _ after so long…

She moans, so soft, against his lips. Desperate for something, for anything, for  _ him. _

Something nudges at the edges of her consciousness, some nostalgia that sings in time with everything pointing her squarely in his direction. She follows it and trails her lips down his jaw, listening to him breathe out a quiet sigh as she does so. His hips surge to meet hers and the breath solidifies into a low moan, one that has his hands tightening where they rest at her waist.

“What do you desire, my heart?” His voice rolls through her and she can’t help but smile against his skin.

“You, my dear. While I may yet have you.”

The slightest bit of tension builds in his shoulders, another quiet hesitation. “I… I cannot undo what I did to you. What I tried to do to this world.”

This brings her pause as well, and she smooths a gentle hand down his arm. “We both did what we had to do, dear. I do not begrudge you your duty.”

“But I—”

“No more than you blame me for mine, I imagine! I have dwelled upon all of this quite enough since it transpired, Elidibus.” She pulls back and meets his eyes, unimpeded by a mask, the same ice blue from her reforged memories. “I have you here, now, and I  _ remember. _ That is what matters to me. The rest is so fleeting in the face of everything I had been missing.”

His hesitance melts to relief as she speaks, and further gives way to a heat that matches her own, a blissfully mutual desire that floods every part of her. He parts his lips with apparently more to say but she cuts him off with another heady, impatient kiss. He reciprocates after a moment of surprise and soon enough he pulls her closer and succumbs to his desire, devouring her as he is devoured in turn.

She rolls her hips down into his and he groans low against her lips, desperate fingers nearly pressing bruises into the soft skin of her waist in their urgency. She manages to unclasp the robe and smooth the fabric off his shoulders to crumple on the bed, and his hands scramble to return the favor…but she pauses as she catches a glimpse of him when they part to lift her tunic over her head.

Long white hair is replaced with shorter brown, and his young, handsome face is instead harder — and  _ familiar. _

“You’re…” she breathes, and a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips.

“I seem to have more control over this form than I originally thought.” Ardbert’s voice rolls low from Elidibus as his hands return to their places at her sides. Her cheeks flush pink as she takes him in; despite belonging to someone else entirely, she can’t quite help but attribute this visage to  _ him, _ can’t help but desire him just as much for the man beneath the mask. “And I thought you might like to see a familiar face.”

It leaves her speechless to see Ardbert once again — even more so to have him  _ beneath _ her like this, half-bare and flushed with wanting. The differences are stark as she takes them in: stubble where once had been smooth skin, rugged and scarred muscle where once had been lean and unblemished in her creation. His hands are now calloused where they had been soft but they hold her with the same care, the same reverence.

And she yearns to be at their mercy.

His touch dances up her sides to finally clasp a breast, kneading the sensitive skin in a way that draws the breath from her lungs in a slow sigh.

“Oh, how I lusted for you in this body… Ardbert’s youth betrayed me so,” he whispers against her skin between presses of his lips at her neck and collar. “My desire called out to you without my permission… The long-buried part of me that remembered you, and  _ wanted. _ Full glad am I to be able to indulge it after so long.”

She whines again as his hands wander once more, making their way between her thighs where they part around him. They tease and taunt around where she desires him and she cannot help but squirm against him in response.

“Please, I…” she moans, and his low chuckle buzzes through her like levin.

“You want  _ more?” _ he asks, before he bites down on her neck and finally presses his fingers against her core over her clothes. She keens and writhes against him, finally appeasing the heat welling within her, and stoking Elidibus’ desire in turn. His length presses stiff against her where she still sits astride his lap and were she not so thoroughly distracted with his fingers, her focus on it would be singular.

But by the gods, his touch is so  _ distracting. _

His breath catches when she grinds her hips down into his, pressing down into his fingers as he works against her with slow, careful presses. It stutters his own movements to be so distracted, and he releases the caught breath in a low whine as he grinds against her in turn.

Fervent fingers in tandem divest them both of their smallclothes, leaving them bare to each other at last. His touch returns to her core and she keens at the contact, at the blissful pressure directly upon her wanting sex. She leans her head back and basks in the bliss of sensation and he takes advantage, trailing kisses down her neck and chest.

_ “Gods, _ Elidibus… Please, I—”

Something shifts. 

It’s subtle enough that she almost misses it through her haze of pleasure, but the changes are distinct. The rough stubble turns once again to smooth skin where his lips press languid kisses to her chest, and the calloused fingers that hold her and work against her turn thinner, more delicate.

She looks down to find unmistakeable raven hair falling in waves over two elezen ears, barely covering two piercing blue eyes as they peer up at her. The warmth radiating within her nearly doubles as her cheeks flush scarlet with recognition.

“Aymeric…?”

Those lips turn up into a sharp grin —  _ Elidibus’ _ lips, she reminds herself, but the more they shift their shape the more she feels herself coming apart at the seams. Almost as if he knows exactly whose visage to don to take her apart to the fullest extent.

“Another familiar face for you,” he says, and the familiar voice in the room is quite nearly too much for her to bear. His motions have not quickened or slowed their pace but she finds herself perched upon the precipice regardless, quite nearly undone by that much alone. He chuckles, low, and she  _ whines. _ “I seem to have chosen wisely. This one is a little closer to home, hm?”

Her hand trails down to take his length and he groans at the contact. She strokes once and the friction gives his own touch pause, shatters his careful poise. One swipe of her thumb over the head draws a quiet moan from his lungs, and the fingers he works against her slide back and finally  _ in. _

“It has been so long… To have you here, now, even in this form…” His fingers press deeper, twist just so, to spread and stretch and fill her — and her cry in response is desperate, yearning. “It is more than I could possibly hope for.”

_ “Ha… _ Has the thought crossed your mind that perhaps…” A quiet curse escapes her lungs as his fingers begin to retreat, his patience thinned to snapping. “Perhaps I love you for  _ you, _ Elidibus? That it is  _ you  _ I desire, not the body you inhabit?”

The question steals his breath and he pauses, daring a glance up at her. She meets his eyes with her own fire and watches in real time as he  _ crumbles. _

“I want you, Elidibus.” She strokes along his length once, twice, before finally lining it up with her entrance. The very tip of his cock presses between her folds and the promise of being full of him has her already clenching in anticipation. “I need you.  _ Please.” _

At that, his resolve finally shatters. His illusion melts away to leave him as he was: long, white hair flowing over his shoulders and down his back; young, handsome face, the same one from her reclaimed memories, the one she had fallen so in love with; and finally his eyes, so light they could almost be gray, betraying every ilm of his burning need.

A need that mirrors her own.

Finally,  _ blessedly _ she sinks to take as much of him as she can, and it is worth it all to hear the quiet groan that escapes his lips as she does. His hands find their home at her hips and coax her down further, further, until she is seated flush with his lap. The sensation of being so utterly  _ full _ of him threatens to send her careening over the edge.

It isn’t until he begins to  _ move _ in earnest that the sparks dance behind her eyelids.

She shudders and moans through the onslaught of pleasure. Even as Elidibus starts his slow, careful thrusts, she tightens her grip on him and rides out the waves of her orgasm lest they drag her beneath the waves with their overwhelming undertow. 

When she finally opens her eyes, she is greeted with Elidibus’ own as their lust nearly burns through her. She finds the strength to move her hips in time with his thrusts, holding his burning gaze unflinchingly as she wrings the pleasure from him piece by piece. A light flush claims his cheeks and ears, and it only takes a few more thrusts before the flush spreads down his neck and chest.

“How I have missed you… Missed  _ this,” _ she sighs, sliding her hands up to wrap her arms around his neck. Their foreheads press together but she can’t possibly bring herself to look away. Not for a moment, not when she finally has him here, as corporeal as she can make him. “It is as if a long lost piece of me was finally restored. You make me feel whole, Elidibus. I feel as if I am finally  _ home _ now that I am with you.”

“It is not home…” he mutters, fingertips smoothing their reverence over her skin. “But it is the next best thing, and long have I dreamt of having it—  _ ah!” _

He cuts himself off with a cry as she quickens her pace, moving against Elidibus as he struggles to maintain his composure.

It is a losing battle.

He muffles another cry with a lip caught between his teeth as she rolls her hips down at a punishing rhythm. He tries to hide his shame by pressing his face into her shoulder but she pulls back, taking his face in both hands and forcing his gaze back up — to her.

And once he does see her,  _ truly _ see her, he cannot look away.

After a few pointed thrusts, he finds his release buried deep within her. The force and angle — coupled with the sheer bliss of being with him once more like this — send her headlong into her own orgasm. But they do not dare look away from one another. Not after everything they’ve endured, not after everything they’ve lost to learn the truth.

They allow themselves this one small vice: to finally see each other not as adversaries, not as pawns in service of a greater game, but as lovers.

And so they cry out in tandem as they find their shared peak, warm waves of pure pleasure pulsing through them both in time. In such harmony that it is a wonder they were even capable of losing one another in the first place. It is not the wholeness Elidibus so valiantly sought beneath the thrall of Zodiark's will, but it fills his heart to bursting with contentment just the same.

They breathe together in the aftermath, savoring the feeling of being sated, of wholeness, before the world beckons to the Warrior of Light once more.

And before the Lifestream calls for Elidibus to return.

All-too soon, his form starts to glow, fraying quietly at the seams as the aether woven by her will and long-buried memory fades. She splays one hand possessively across his chest, and he lifts his own hand to cover it.

“Please don’t leave me,” she begs, so quiet that the room nearly swallows her voice. But his eyes do not leave hers, even as a small, wistful smile finds its way to his fair features.

“Thank you.” His hand squeezes her own over his chest, though his fingertips begin to lose their form as the aether wanes. “That you would look upon my face with such love… It brings me all the peace I could ever have wanted. But you have your duty yet still to fulfill.”

_ Stay strong. Keep the faith. At duty’s end, we will meet again. _

“This is not the end, Elidibus,” she says in defiance of his fading form. Her voice wavers and tears begin to brim in her eyes but she does not falter. “I will find you again. I will  _ never _ forget.”

Elidibus smiles and nods once, silent, but his contentment transcends words. He knows there is no stopping her; if she wills it, it shall come to pass. His presence here at all is testament to that.

And so he leans forward and steals one last, selfish kiss from her lips — until the last of the aether is spent, leaving her alone in the Pendants once more.

But she smiles, this time, as her eyes find the glowing upper Spire of the Crystal Tower.

Because after seeing Elidibus once more, after remembering and  _ understanding… _ She has finally found her home.

**Author's Note:**

> yall i've got EMOTIONS
> 
> tell me about your emotions on twitter [@shoutzwastaken](http://twitter.com/shoutzwastaken)
> 
> you can also share your emotions with the [book club](https://discord.gg/X6NJJAb)


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